conflict

Resources for congregational governance, leadership, conflict, stewardship

Earlier this year Annette Marquis, district executive for the Unitarian Universalist Association’s Southeast District, compiled several lists of books she believes are useful for congregational leaders. She created lists for the following topics:

• Good governance in congregations

• Congregational leadership

• Leadership tools

• Covenant, conflict, and right relationships

• Congregational stewardship

She notes, “Although you probably can’t read them all, engaging your congregation’s board and leadership in a planned course of study of at least one of these books a year will help to build a culture of commitment to best practices in your congregation.”

The lists are on her blog, Vital Congregations. While you’re there, check out some of her other blog posts on Technology Resources for Congregations and Right Relationships in Congregations.

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New from the UUA Bookstore

A Cup of Light: All About the Flaming Chalice, by Pamela Baxter. A description of where the symbol of Unitarian Universalism originated, why it was adopted, and what it means. (Skinner House, $5)

A Queer History of the United States, by Michael Bronski. Takes the reader from Columbus’s arrival through the American Revolution and the transformative social justice movements of the twentieth century. Available May 10. (Beacon Press, $27.95)

Coming Out in Faith: LGBTQ Voices in Unitarian Universalism, by Keith Kron and Susan Gore. A collection of testimonials illuminating the experience of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender UUs. Raises awareness of Unitarian Universalism’s active role in supporting LGBTQ people and learning from them. Available June 15. (Skinner House, $14)

Promise and Peril: Understanding and Managing Change and Conflict in Congregations, by David Brubaker. The author has more than 20 years of working with congregations in conflict. Promise and Peril is designed to help congregations avoid conflict, instead developing healthy relationships among church staff and members. (Alban Institute, $18)

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UU leaders share tips via Facebook

Here are resources that people have recommended on Facebook that could be useful to leaders of congregations:

  • Kathy Burek, president of the Prairie Star District Board of Trustees, recommends the book Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury. “It’s been my favorite conflict-resolution book for decades.” UUA Trustee John Blevins recommends a 19-minute video talk on it by Ury.
  • UUA Moderator Gini Courter recommends an online column by Bruce Epperly, author and theology professor, about taking our faith seriously and reclaiming Christian education.

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How to counter bad behavior with covenants, loving intervention

Tandi Rogers Koerger, program specialist for the UUA’s Pacific Northwest District, has added a post to her blog about conflict and covenants of right relations. She notes:

Many a visitor will walk through our doors seeking to be guided by Unitarian Universalist theology and held by Unitarian Universalist religious community. And many of those visitors will leave, repelled by less than inspiring worship or an exhausting congregational conflict or our issues with power and authority… So many of our congregations allow bad behavior in the effort to preserve “the inherent worth and dignity of all.”

More often than not, this bad behavior becomes part of the cultural norm: arguing the fine points of final reports at congregational meetings, using candles of joys and concerns for public service announcements, assuming there is one politically correct way to be Unitarian Universalist, triangulating and undermining leadership, using email for heated discussion, and using consensus as a weapon to get one’s way are just a few of my favorite examples. There is nothing worthy or dignified in this behavior. A loving intervention and firm, clear boundaries are the way to promote worth and dignity…

She goes on to describe how congregations can create positive patterns, and the resources available to help with that. Read the full post at her blog.

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Who owns your church’s website?

Who owns your congregation’s website? Occasionally a congregation finds out the hard way that it doesn’t.

If a congregation’s website is registered to an individual in the congregation, and that individual pays the monthly fee, then the church may not have any legal right to it if that individual becomes disaffected. In one case in recent years a member who controlled the website also maintained the congregational email lists and other databases. When a dispute developed, the individual proceeded to empty everything out.

The test: If a webmaster pays the bills each month for the website domain names and site hosting with her personal credit card then chances are good that the site host will recognize that person, and not the church, as the owner of the website.

InterConnections reported on a situation a few years ago when a congregation’s webmaster, who had registered the church’s domain name in his own name, was asked to leave the church because of a personal indiscretion. In retaliation, he blocked access to the website and posted negative information on it. It took the church six months to regain control of its domain name and website.

A UUA staff member in a district where another of these incidents took place reminds, “Congregations must always insist that ownership in electronic assets, including websites, databases, and all their content, is vested in the congregation, not the manager. And they should always have more than one person authorized to access and exert control over these resources––just like paying attention to authorizations for bank accounts.”

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Unintended consequences of small group ministry

The April 2010 issue of Covenant Group News, for leaders and members of small groups, includes an essay by the Rev. Steve Crump of the Unitarian Church of Baton Rouge, La., about some of the “unintended consequences” of small group ministry.

He notes that small group ministry “encourages right relationship and diminishes acting-out behavior in the larger church community because the modeling of right relationship in small groups extends to right relationship in other areas of our lives as well.” Small groups also teach the art of hospitality and encourage good communication, he says.

Subscribe to Covenant Groups News and find out about small group ministry here.

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